MEET SHMUELA

This is Shmuela’s story.

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I never expected to feel ashamed for eating on Yom Kippur. I knew the halakha (Jewish law) regarding fasting and understood that some of us are exempt, but that didn’t change how I felt. Even in a community that embraces diverse Jewish practices, this one day seemed to challenge that welcome. 

 

On Yom Kippur 5784, I found myself sneaking outside—away from my congregation, my friends, and my spiritual home—just to take a few bites of food and sip water so I wouldn’t faint between services. I knew I was doing what was necessary, but I was overwhelmed with guilt. I felt like I was failing. I knew I had permission to eat, but there was no visible space for those of us who needed to. 

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I felt alone in a room filled with hundreds of fellow Jews.

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Every year, the lead-up to communal fasts filled me with anxiety.  I found myself bargaining— thinking that I should at least try to fast, despite the potential dangers to both my physical and mental health. 

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And then, I found A Mitzvah to Eat.

 

The teachings, blessings, and communal support changed everything.

 

Leading up to the next Yom Kippur, I asked my synagogue about a space to eat and found that while it existed, it lacked clear signage or visibility. With my congregation’s support, I helped create that visibility—adding signs, sharing blessings from A Mitzvah to Eat, and ensuring there was food available for those who needed it.

 

Then, the day finally came.  When I entered the designated room after the first service, I sat down to eat with intention, reciting blessings I had learned. Slowly, others trickled in. 

 

I wasn’t alone anymore. 

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The shame I had felt the year before was gone. 

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Instead, I felt a deep sense of belonging. 

 

A Mitzvah to Eat didn’t just give me permission to eat; it gave me the language, the community, and the validation to embrace this mitzvah fully. It reminded me that my nourishment, too, is holy.

 

If I hadn’t found this initiative, I likely would have spent another Yom Kippur harming both my physical and mental health in trying to fast. Instead, I was able to honor my body, strengthen my connection to God, and create a space where others could do the same. For that, I am endlessly grateful.